| Sep. 28th, 2005 @ 09:23 pm Unreal |
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Current Mood:  annoyed
Current Music: Chingy feat. Ludacris, Snoop Dog, Holidae Inn
I think it's crazy that a person's mind has such an influence on his or her surroundings. What I am in Egypt in my mind and the life I am living daily are two different things. In my mind I am a revolutionary, a U.S. outsider, doing important research about the world and learning valuable information and theoretical analysis which could potentially change history. I am full of potentials. I am a future historic figure in development, in Africa, a writer, an adventurer, a Senator, Secretary of State, a Harvard law school graduate, a Woodrow Wilson School of Government international specialist, a Fulbright Scholar... I challenge the U.S. Government, I am on the verge of being arrested at any given moment, I am Noam Chomsky... in reality I sit in McDonald's in Cairo and eat a cheeseburger because my stomach can't bear the thought of any more schwarma. I sit in MCDONALD'S! full of anti-corporate, anti-globalization, I-am-for-the-people thoughts as I read "Fear's Empire: War, Terrorism, and Democracy." In my mind, I am the books I read, and yet I am a critical analysis of those books. The list of books like the list of activities used to be represents who I am in my mind. The words I can use daily make me grow ten inches taller. I sit in class "on the shoulders of giants."
And yet, again, what am I actually doing? Tonight was mainly characterized by the lack of work I accomplished. Thus far I've had tea with milk, which I ordered in Arabic, (which makes me a quick-witted Arabic scholar in my mind of course, when in reality all I can DO is order tea and like, cheese) and had pizza at a floor meeting. Wow, this sounds strikingly like the United States. I sit in a dorm where I get room service! using my laptop and wireless internet, listening to trashy American music on itunes. I'm sorry, was this not the romantic version of Egypt you wished to hear about? Should I mention the things going on outside which are blissfully irrelevant to my life right now? How different is this from just BEING in America, ignorant to problems here? Feeling as if "someone," as in "some American" should "charitably" go "save" the "poor Third World." Oh woe is me. Well, here I am, Egypt. Here I am, sitting in the Kanzy dorm. And your brave, kind-hearted, charitable, concerned and educated American embassy officials I'm sure are in the comfort of their cheap, upscale suites with balconies overlooking the Nile. They're really here to help, too. I bet you're so glad we're here.
Oh and the elections were great, Egypt, they were awesome. You are truly a democracy now. Oh wait, that's not true, but that's okay because we still like you. You tried, you cutie. Look at you trying, look at your President with his newfound "legitimacy." Maybe someday you will change your constitution, but for now, you serve "strategic interests."
U.S. interests - my interests living in the comfort of my hotel in Dokki, people flying to take care of my every whim, because I am in the ranks of the prissy whining Americans.
That's okay, because we are welcome here. That's what they all say when they know I am American. All of Egypt jumps up with a smile and says, "Ahlan wa sahlan." "WELCOME." |
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justmichelle's journal
drained
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uncomfortable